My Grief!

Well it's the weekend, not to much going on here! I guess it's just another day to me. Seems as though the days are not the same to me anymore, I guess its dealing with the loss of my brother has been really hard. Some seem to think that I am dwelling on things to much, but its hard when you loose someone so close. Where my life is headed I don't know, but I know that right now things are truly difficult, I guess I try not to deal with things so completely as it hurts to think that my brother is gone and my be forgotten. Not that I would ever forget my brother, it's just parts of me thinks that he is still here with us and this is not real. Keeping his memory alive is something that helps me through the hard times.

So many times in life we forget so many memories as we get older, and one of the major reasons I started this blog is to help me have something that I can look back on in the future. I hold everything of my brother so dear and I wish he had more things that spoke of who he was such as this. I am no special person, and my words are only that "words". If someone reads what I write then that's nice, and I hope that the ones that do are getting to know me a little better.

Death is not something that anyone really plans for! Why? We all know it is comming but yet we don't prepare and that sad. Since Shane died I realize that even more then ever before. Relationships seem to come and go in my life and the one true person that was there for me is gone and that's very difficult. I don't ask for a shoulder to cry on, I just say my grief is mine and I will be who I am and deal with life and my struggles how I have in the past and that's with my strength and ability to survive.

In no way do I intend to offend anyone, but I want to be honest!